Faith to Faithless event

I was recently invited to be on a panel of ex Jehovah’s Witnesses to give an insight about life within their world. It is a surprise to many that the appearance of nice but slightly eccentric people is far from the truth of what life can be like for so many once you have given your life to the Watchtower society.

These stories are only a snapshot of a few people, but they reflect thousands of people’s experiences who have been affected by the inhumane rules laid out by their leaders. Rather than protecting the members, it protects their business.

Here is the playlist :

Male survivors

Today I am posting this as it is over a year since I posted on this subject with some useful information. I had thought there would be a stigma and shame attached to being a male survivor, however that is not the case anymore. My abuser always made out he was macho, and certainly phrases such as ‘man up’ and ‘don’t be a girl’ are ones I was used to hearing as I grew up, however normally in contexts very different to the ones I was contending with in my head.

When I did come forward after 30 years a few years back I found the following information really useful, and hope it helps someone else out there, which is why I am posting this again.

Who Can  a Man Tell (brochure)

When a Man is Raped (brochure)

Living Well (website)

Undue Influence

“Undue Influence is the application of social, emotional or physical pressure to convince a person to align with some cause or belief system against their better interests. It involves an individual or group taking a position of power or authority to gradually prevent the targeted person from being able to exercise their independent will.  Also referred to as destructive influence, manipulation, exploitative or unethical persuasion, brainwashing, mind control, coercion and thought reform, undue influence is dismissed by some as rare or unlikely, despite evidence demonstrating that it is a major threat to society and contributes to everything from domestic abuse and parental alienation to human trafficking, and dangerous cult movements to terrorist radicalisation.” Courtesy of

To see whether you are under undue influence I recommend using the BITE model, read more about it here:


Number 10

n10I was recently invited to take part in a demonstration in Parliament Square in London. It was to highlight the flaws within the organisation of Jehovah’s Witnesses when it comes to child protection. This is a subject close to my heart, the thought of anyone suffering child abuse is very upsetting but having a system in place that allows the perpetrator to get away with it is absolutely wrong.

Sadly the ‘Two Witness’ rule the Watchtower stands by is allowing just that to happen. Instead of viewing child abuse as a crime, they see it as a sin.

Therefore I was more than willing to be interviewed by the [press] and to deliver a letter to the Prime Minister requesting that faith based groups report child abuse immediately to the authorities instead of dealing with such matters internally.

It is my hope that Jehovah’s Witnesses change their stance and stand on the side of morality rather than their own flawed beliefs. The very scriptures they say they follow would not allow a rape to go unpunished even with no second witness, so why do they ignore the scriptures that don’t backup their ‘Two Witness’ rule?

Background to the ‘Two witness’ rule

When an allegation of sexual abuse is made the elders are requested to contact their head office first, and to follow their instructions. The allegation then is investigated internally. The ‘Two Witness’ rule is found in [Deut 19:15] and if there is no second witness and the abuser denies the allegation the matter can go no further. However compare this to [Deut 22:25-27] which is never used in their rules and regulations despite it specifically dealing with sexual crimes.

Dead or Alive

Am I dead or alive? Well it depends on who you ask.

Ask any of my friends, ask any doctor, ask any of my work colleagues, my dad or children and they will confirm that I am still at this moment alive.

However it appears that my Jehovah’s Witness family think I am dead. After having received an email from my mum about 7 months ago she has kept true to her word, she has ceased all contact with me. A few weeks ago my children received a card along with a gift from her sending them ‘lots of love’ with a PS saying ‘Send my love to your mum’. No mention of their dad! My children have received phone calls from members of the family they have never spoken to over the phone before as if they are now fatherless children.

Why is this? Because I cannot give the religion they belong to any hopes of my return. I do not want to have any association with a religion that covers crimes and does not cooperate with the authorities to bring justice to the criminals in their congregations. As a result of my abhorence of their religion I am now dead to them.

As I am now a dead person I cannot speak, cannot give any opinions or viewpoints, cannot live a happy life, cannot be loved or held. I am just a memory, despite the fact I am still breathing, my heart is still pumping. I still have feelings and have the capacity to love and to hurt.

Moral responsibility

This is a huge subject, however I wanted to write a small piece about acting with personal or moral responsibility.

In the course of our lives there are times when we have to make a choice, what is morally the right thing to do. Let’s say for example you see someone drop a bag of shopping. Immediately you might think of helping that person, but if you are late for catching a bus you may walk right past. However, what if that person had collapsed in front of you dropping the bag of shopping. Whether you are late for the bus or not, this person’s life takes priority.

I honestly believe I am in a similar situation when it comes to me being vocal about the dangers of Jehovah’s Witnesses. I have a moral obligation when I see the hurt being inflicted on people by an organisation based on lies to try and help them see the real truth.

Like innocent children playing near danger but blissfully unaware, Jehovah’s Witnesses allow their whole lives to be controlled unaware of what is going on behind the scenes. The lies and coverups that The Watchtower hides from their followers is astonishing, they have to be made aware of them.

Sadly in doing so, ex Jehovah’s Witnesses are shunned for speaking out and they lose their families and friends. The Witnesses are told to believe that such ones are ‘mentally diseased’ and are the ones that are doing the shunning! Such behaviour is not even based on the Bible just like many of their fundamental teachings.

What do I hope to achieve? I want honest hearted people to be able to make well informed choices for themselves, based on all the evidence available, not just the information fed by Watchtower.

A moving post

This was a very moving post made by Tylin Joel on the Ex-Jehovah’s Witness Recovery Group 3 on Facebook. I wanted to share this with you on the day I met an elder doing witnessing work who said he no longer speaks to a number of his friends anymore since they are disfellowshipped even though they are not bad people.

Tylin wrote:

On May 1st 2009 I pulled up to my father’s residence in Bakersfield California.
There were several police vehicles sprawled about and other official looking cars. Every light was flashing and it looked like a major crime scene, with yellow tape wrapped around every available surface.

I walked into the property. I was met immediately by a couple stout officers. “You need to step away, this area is off limits”

“This is my fathers house,” I said.

“Ok, go ahead.”

I walked towards the front door, but noticed there were officers in my way with a couple others in business attire standing by the breezeway door that led to the garage. They stopped talking and looked at me. I announced who I was and a very petite young woman put her hand up towards me and placed it on my chest and said, “Sir. You don’t want to come any further.”

I looked at her in the eyes and thought, who is this young woman speaking with such authority and conviction?

I told her, “yes, I do”

All the portly bodies moved aside and I entered the dimly lit garage.

I saw my father hanging from a very thin red and white nylon rope. My immediate thought was, how is that tiny rope holding him above the ground?

Then it hit me. My father, my rock, my hero, my everything, was gone.

No son should have to see his father hanging from a rafter. I understand what the very pretty coroner was trying to shield me from.

But I’m ok today because I needed to see it. It was the last straw that I needed to realize how evil the cult I trusted in was.

Despite my love for my father, my ignoring the mandate to shun him, it was too painful for him to lose everyone else. 6 months of being shunned by his mother and every friend he had made in the past 60 years. It was too much. And the love from his son while appreciated, couldn’t erase the hurt from the deep history that was excising him.

I miss my dad. He was a beautiful man. I wish he could know me now and how I’m fighting.